Hello HSP community! My apologies for missing last week’s post. In it’s place I shared the following paragraph on The Sensitive Trait’s Facebook page, so I thought I would share it here as well. 🙂
“In the past week I have learned more than ever about how we can become overwhelmed by excitement, joy and love just as much as we can by stress and unpleasant, chaotic situations. From wonderful summer vacations, birthday celebrations and heartfelt conversations, to future planning for The Sensitive Trait, my introversion is pulling on me this week. You may have noticed that The Sensitive Trait missed a blog post! I gave myself permission to do that as I knew it would be too much for me.”
I will admit I struggled to decide whether or not to write a blog post last week (I can be really hard on myself, and extremely loyal and committed… to you guys, and everyone I care for in my life).
I went back and forth on the decision for a bit, but then I just gave myself the permission to skip it, and my worries went away.
Sometimes that all it takes; to be gentle with ourselves, and remember how we get as HSPs when we over commit.
Now, on to this week’s blog post topic… “Misunderstood”
We have all felt this way in our lives, especially HSPs, probably on many occasions.
As a Child:
When you were growing up as an HSP, you may have been told that you’re “too sensitive for your own good”, or called “shy.” Maybe you were referred to as the “teacher’s pet” or “mama’s favorite” because you clung to the adults in your life for protection.
You may have experienced extreme frustration from your parents or teachers because of your uncontrollable crying bouts. Maybe you were put into situations that were much too overstimulating for you but despite your resistance, you were told to do what the other kids were doing.
As a Teenager:
Later on in your teens as an HSP, maybe you just couldn’t understand why you’d prefer to stay at home and hangout quietly in the backyard rather than go to the beach with all of your friends.
Maybe one sleepover on the weekend would be fine for you, but when your friends begged you to stay for the second night, you were torn and went home upset, with your friends (and yourself) not understanding why.
As an Adult:
Perhaps still, some of the loved ones in your life don’t understand you…
Guess what? The knowledge I am sharing with you can help! 🙂
Once we understand our trait of high sensitivity and start to acknowledge and notice it in our lives, we will better understand ourselves AND others.
We can accept and respect others for their non-HSP tendencies, and help them understand our tendencies as HSPs to create a mutual understanding.
If you’re an HSP in a romantic relationship or a friendship with a non-HSP, you’ll probably relate to some of the following examples I am going to share.
You notice when your friend/partner’s mood changes, and then ask them if they are OK. They respond “yep, I’m good.” And change the subject.
You’re a little shocked that it can be such a simple answer… but rest assured they usually are just fine. They would probably tell you if otherwise!
You suddenly feel overwhelmed and a little hurt by a comment your partner / friend made a few minutes ago.
You’re trying to move on from it, but it’s bothering you. Then, when they don’t notice you’re upset, you feel even worse and become resentful that they don’t notice things like you do.
HSP’s emotions can run strong, but forgive your non-HSP partner or friend. They may not pick up on little cues like you do!
You’ll have to tell them you’re upset, and it is key to do this BEFORE your emotions escalate – “nip it in the bud” right away.
This might be scary at first, but I am sure they will appreciate you telling them (before it turns into a huge deal that has been killing you for three hours). They will give you some reassurance, and apologize.
I have learned to do this and it makes the world of a difference. There’s something about just having your feelings validated and acknowledged. Once that’s done, we can dust our hands off and move on! 🙂
Your partner might plan a whole weekend for you, but if they don’t know you’re an HSP or understand your trait, you’ll probably be totally overwhelmed by the end of the weekend.
You might cry or get angry, leaving your partner upset because he/she thinks you didn’t have a good time, when really the activities and all your happy/excited emotions were just very overwhelming for you.
So, the title of this blog post “Misunderstood” goes for both parties – HSPs and non-HSPs alike. Neither of you are in the wrong, you just think and feel a little differently from each other.
If your partner, close friends, kids or family don’t know about your trait of high sensitivity (you may just be discovering it as well!) start by observing your relationships with your HSP trait in mind.
I bet you’ll begin to notice something … for the first time in your life you may see yourself and others in a different, more accepting way.
This post was actually inspired by a conversation I had with an HSP friend of mine. She told me that now that she knows she’s an HSP and understands what that means, she is just so much happier and more accepting of others in her life!
To me that is true, positive progress and I am SO proud of her.
It also resembles the mission I am on to “Help HSPs understand their trait of high sensitivity in themselves and in others so they can live improved lives.”
Until next week…
XO your fellow HSP, Chelsie.
PS – of course you know this already, but ANYTIME you feel compelled to reach out to me in a public or private message, I am here. No strings attached.