Keep your fear close, and your truth closer


I was talking with a good friend of mine the other day, and she used the term “keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.”  This friend of mine is a strong woman, and works hard at her career and her reputation so when she says something like this, she has my attention.

Her statement got me thinking about how I could relate this to my own personal journey. As I mentioned in my last post, I am currently reading The Desire Map, which has me thinking more than ever about feeling the way I want to feel.

And as you know, I am also an HSP, so I think very deeply and complexly about things and I am forever formulating different scenarios and ideas in my mind. This is my attempt to share some of them with you. Let’s have fun with it!

Ok, so bear with me and note this quote again: “keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.”

Now let’s look inward. Let’s flip our perspective away from the people in our lives and look at our relationship with ourselves.

Let’s say that the term “friends” represent your truth, your happiness, and the parts of yourself that you can trust and that make you feel AWESOME. Does this mean that the term “enemies” could represent your doubts, your fears… and all those parts of yourself that you believe have the power to harm you?

I’m going to go with yes! (for the sake of the metaphor I am creating here). 😉

So why do we keep our friends close? We keep them close because they bring out the best in us, we enjoy life with them and have fun… we can rely on them and trust them, they add to us, fill us up. I think that’s why we want to live our truth as well, right? Because living our truth adds to our lives.

Now… why does this quote tell us to keep our enemies closer?! Responses will probably vary, but I think the purpose is to know our enemies so we can and understand them better, so we can be aware of what threats they might pose to us – so we can keep an eye on them, and be ready for them when they come. This gives us a better chance at outsmarting them.

I think this is precisely why we should know our own demons, and develop a relationship with our own fear.

Friends = Truth, Enemies = Fear

So, I say all the more reason to get closer… to both.

Maybe the harder of the two is getting to know your fears – but do – because sometimes your fears are what is stopping you from realizing your biggest truth. So I challenge you to get to know them; don’t cower away from the fear inside you. Explore it. And going into that, remember that you have control of how you want to feel. Always remember the light inside of you. But I urge you to be curious! What is that fear really about? It’s most likely there from memories and experiences in your past. But remember that today, those fears only have the control that you give them.

I am going to change the statement “Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer” to “Keep your fears close, and your truth closer.” Live in your truth, but don’t ignore the fear, it is also a teacher, your asset. Get to know fear so well that it no longer threatens, because you can see through it to the other side.

Thanks for reading this week. Presenting this metaphor was a great challenge for me, and I hope that it made some sense to you! As always, feel free to reach out to me in a private message or in a comment to continue this conversation. Truth? Fear? You’ll get the most out of life when you know them both within you. ❤

Xo your fellow HSP, Chelsie

So slap me silly, it’s all about how we feel (before others tell us so)

And then, right then when my intuition told me that I had read enough about setting goals from the heart for the day, I set The Desire Map down, and laid back in my chair to bask in the warm sun shining through the airplane window.

Moments later, on that pleasantly empty Air Canada flight, It hit me. No, it resonated with me. It penetrated so deep that I finally GOT it.

Oh my god, our entire culture is set up so that humans can seek affirmation, happiness, success, and acceptance through OTHER PEOPLE’S perceptions. The thought of putting this kind of power in other people’s hands, so that they can tell us whether we are worthy – sexy, hot, pretty, cool, successful, smart, happy is utterly appalling to me suddenly. How can we be so stupid? How can we be so foolish?

Happiness and acceptance does NOT come from impressing others, from looking good for others, from seeming cool to others, it comes from feeling these things about our selves. Danielle LaPorte, author of the Desire Map said “I’d rather feel beautiful than look beautiful.” Amen!!!! But for many of us, (myself included) we’ve been brainwashed to feel beautiful when others think we look beautiful, (or cute or stylish or fit or whatever).

Wrong, wrong, wrong! Why are we spending more time pleasing others than ourselves? How nice of us! To worry and try so hard to make others see us in such a high regard. But what is the point if we don’t see it ourselves. We are not living for others, we are living for ourselves! (Of course, we live for our children and those we love most as well, but not in the same way – I think you know what I mean).

So how to change this way of being? I often ask my boyfriend if I look pretty (even though I know he thinks I do). But somehow I need to hear it, to be sure.

Like Danielle, I would much rather feel pretty first, and look pretty second! Because in the end that’s what it’s all about, right?

Feeling good.

We are all working hard on this planet to feel good, every day. Feeling good from within ourselves could be so easy, but god damn, society makes that hard! We will never be good enough for our audience: aka the whole wide world, because we could always chase more, be thinner, own more things, live somewhere else, want longer hair, wish we made more money, wish our power suits would transform us, but happiness can only be found within ourselves.

The point is to FEEL beautiful, rich, happy, free, in love, without others showing us we are, first. Who cares what anyone else thinks. After all, we are the ones who we are going to live with and spend every second with and die with, not those other people we try and prove ourselves to.

So start right now. From today onward, live for you. It’s all relative – everything – to how YOU feel.

 happy 1 happy 3 happy 2
(Just some more happy pictures to keep you smiling!)
XO your fellow HSP, Chelsie