And then, right then when my intuition told me that I had read enough about setting goals from the heart for the day, I set The Desire Map down, and laid back in my chair to bask in the warm sun shining through the airplane window.
Moments later, on that pleasantly empty Air Canada flight, It hit me. No, it resonated with me. It penetrated so deep that I finally GOT it.
Oh my god, our entire culture is set up so that humans can seek affirmation, happiness, success, and acceptance through OTHER PEOPLE’S perceptions. The thought of putting this kind of power in other people’s hands, so that they can tell us whether we are worthy – sexy, hot, pretty, cool, successful, smart, happy is utterly appalling to me suddenly. How can we be so stupid? How can we be so foolish?
Happiness and acceptance does NOT come from impressing others, from looking good for others, from seeming cool to others, it comes from feeling these things about our selves. Danielle LaPorte, author of the Desire Map said “I’d rather feel beautiful than look beautiful.” Amen!!!! But for many of us, (myself included) we’ve been brainwashed to feel beautiful when others think we look beautiful, (or cute or stylish or fit or whatever).
Wrong, wrong, wrong! Why are we spending more time pleasing others than ourselves? How nice of us! To worry and try so hard to make others see us in such a high regard. But what is the point if we don’t see it ourselves. We are not living for others, we are living for ourselves! (Of course, we live for our children and those we love most as well, but not in the same way – I think you know what I mean).
So how to change this way of being? I often ask my boyfriend if I look pretty (even though I know he thinks I do). But somehow I need to hear it, to be sure.
Like Danielle, I would much rather feel pretty first, and look pretty second! Because in the end that’s what it’s all about, right?
We are all working hard on this planet to feel good, every day. Feeling good from within ourselves could be so easy, but god damn, society makes that hard! We will never be good enough for our audience: aka the whole wide world, because we could always chase more, be thinner, own more things, live somewhere else, want longer hair, wish we made more money, wish our power suits would transform us, but happiness can only be found within ourselves.
The point is to FEEL beautiful, rich, happy, free, in love, without others showing us we are, first. Who cares what anyone else thinks. After all, we are the ones who we are going to live with and spend every second with and die with, not those other people we try and prove ourselves to.
So start right now. From today onward, live for you. It’s all relative – everything – to how YOU feel.